Treasure Hunt.

15th Official Blog Post in AU. 25 January 2012

This past weekend was filled with the sound of wedding bells! Perhaps you are the bearer of this good news or maybe you are on the receiving–and squealing with excitement– end like me. Regardless, I think we can all tell that it is that time of year again.

Despite the fact that my current circumstances do not quite suggest that the “m-word” is in sight, I am just so excited! I’m excited just to be a woman!

Yeah, that sounds weird.

Let me explain why...

It is not for the reasons you think– I am not thinking about the awesome dress, the decorations, the attention, or the venue... Here is what has been on my mind:

“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.”

-Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)

Basically, I think that is just the coolest thing ever! If you know me at all, you know I like to look at the parallel versions and Greek or Hebrew translations just to see if I understand the meaning correctly.

Good news: this verse says what it means and means what it says! 

In God’s eyes, not only do I get the pleasure and the benefits of a partnership– I get to be the catalyst for favor to come from Yahweh and into a man’s life! Plus, we will be one anyway so favor that comes to him means favor is coming to me, too.

Ladies, doesn’t that make you feel so valuable? Ha! By taking up a partnership, a man would be so blessed in ways he does not even realize yet! What could a godly man want more than favor from the Lord?!

I promise I am not trying to sound as vain as a peacock. I just think we should boast in what the Lord has given each of us just a little (or a lot) more and maybe try to rummage through the overgrowth of fears and past experiences which seem to hide away the treasures that exist inside relationships.

Women: be encouraged. You are a treasure and a blessing. Bring him good, not harm, all the days of your life.

Men: find a “keeper,” in God’s perfect season for you. She’ll be more worthwhile than you know. If you already found one, ask God to let you see all the ways He has favored you because of your marriage.

Heavenly Father,

May we walk in Your way. Give us eyes to see relationships the way You see them. I pray that this generation of marriages be set apart and rebuild any brokenness of marriages before us. May we take wisdom from those that have lived in partnership according to Your Word. Let Your Holy Spirit lead us all– married and singles alike– to be a light unto this world; a city on a hill. Teach us to be holy; set apart for this world to see that You are truly the difference in our lives.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Looking Back.

14th Official Blog Post in AU. 6 January 2012

I moved into a new apartment! Let’s just say the amount of stuff I have is ridiculous. Amidst, the crazed and tired atmosphere, something strange happened and it has been burned in my memory ever since.

I left a piece of toast in the panini/sandwich maker.

God only knows how long it’s been in there.

First of all, I realize that that is absolutely disgusting. I am trying my best not to be embarrassed about sharing such a gross fact with all of cyberspace.

All day the image of this formerly toasted, stale bread kept coming around...

That piece of toast is such proof of how distracted I have been this past season–

S p a c e y, overly adaptable, unusually withdrawn socially, non-committal...

not quite myself.

But there is a changing of seasons and I am in transition. I like it!

Change always seems to help prevent complacency.

Here’s to the new year:

A year of awakening.

A year of fruitfulness.

A year of productivity and diligence.

This year I will live genuinely according to who He has made me to be.

And discover the things I never knew I was capable of.

This year, I will not hold back from God.

He desires to make my life flourish.

He makes me influential.

I will be all that He dreams for me.

I will create, build, and distribute what He has anointed my hands to do.

This year, I refuse to accept self-destructive habits, thoughts, or attitudes.

I refuse to be so distracted that I leave toast in the sandwich maker.

I will be successful because He makes me capable.

Father,

Teach us to be more focused, faithful, and free to live out the confidence You are calling us to walk in this year. Keep us from wasting this precious time. You have a plan for us in each day. You take the things we dream of and make them grand. I want to live in every moment of developing those dreams to the scale that You are capable of. I know this development only comes in faithfulness to today; in attention to the little things. “Refiner’s fire, my heart’s one desire.”

Let it be. All that You have spoken, let it be.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Heart Cry.

13th Official Blog Post in AU. 29 December 2011

Heavenly Father,

I so desire to be the kind of woman that is set apart from this world. The more I strive to be an incredible woman, the more I see my shortcomings. I can do no good thing apart from You, Lord. 

What will it take to be beautiful; to radiate beauty in my attitude and everyday life? I need a change of heart, God. Destroy my self-seeking state of being. Take my pride and tear it to shreds. All I need is You.

I don’t know how to satisfy these longings apart from Your presence, Father. I don’t know how to grow and feel free to be my true self without believing You when You said, “this is who I’ve created you to be.” 

I have to be confident in the way you have designed me instead of looking to the right and left and suddenly thinking I should look and act more like this girl or that I will only be attractive if I live up to men’s supposed expectations. 

All that You are and all You have done should be enough for me to want to worship you with my lifestyle. My body is a temple– let me worship You by treating it with the best of foods, drinks, and activities. My gifts and talents are given to me for a purpose– let me steward them well instead of suppressing them in fear. My relationships were given to me so that I might proclaim Your Truth into the world– may I proclaim Your glory with grace, boldness and overflowing joy. 

You love me with an everlasting love.

Tell me who I am again, God.

Tell me of all You have purposed for me to be.

Fill my heart and mind with visions of the house I am to build.

Keep me from foolishly tearing it down with my own hands.

Teach me to dream again and be free again...

I want to love You with an everlasting love.

Messiah, my Love, Great God, Holy One; The Most Faithful of All.

I just want to be the best of what You’ve made me to be.

In Jesus’ Precious Name,

Amen

Seed.

12th Official Blog Post in AU. 22 December 2011

Joseph, Mary, and Jesus.

We’ve been hearing a lot about them lately haven’t we?

Despite the fact that Australia’s atmosphere hardly carries the allure of Christmas spirit, I have been inspired by Pastor Jim Laffoon’s recent Twitter series and have gone back to scriptures about the birth of Jesus.

I have to admit that I haven’t even made it past Matthew 1 and Luke 1.

Though that may imply disinterest, I honestly cannot make it past those two particular chapters because of how much of an eye-opening affect it’s had on my life!

I definitely want to encourage you to read them for yourselves and determine how it speaks specifically to your life as well. 

Both of these chapters generally show us how Joseph, Mary, Elizabeth and Zacharias lived in faith and obedient action in response to what God had spoken into their lives. For the first time in these stories, I have begun noticing the fact that by believing what God had spoken to them, their choices defied their logic as well as the cultural expectations of the people around them.

What a sobering thought: there will be times–probably more than we expect– when we are faced with the need to discern who our loyalty belongs to. Do you know what God is leading you into? Will you walk in it or are you too concerned about the expectations of society, your culture, or the people around you? Though we are called to honor our parents, we are not worthy of God if we love them more than we love Him. If we are too afraid to take that one step into agreement as Zacharias did, we may never have our voice restored. Scripture shows how human we can be– Zacharias  asked the angel, “how will I know this for certain?” His doubts resulted in consequence (Luke 1:18, 20) Though Joseph was well-intentioned when he thought to send Mary away during her seemingly questionable pregnancy, it was actually in favor of God’s plan that he stay by her side. Even in the times we receive direct words from the Lord, it is so easy to take it and start dissecting it with logic, isn’t it? We rationalize it through, but have to reel our thoughts back into place if we want to remain obedient and in faith.

Luke chapter 1 is just LOADED with so much miraculous, faith-filled content!

Zacharias petitioned for and was granted a son from a previously barren wife.

She who was called barren is now in her sixth month.

For nothing will be impossible with God.

And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord...”

And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord.

God, grace us with the diligence to cling to these promises! Nothing is impossible with You! We are blessed in our persistence of petitions and unwavering faith when we receive a word from You. First and foremost, may we live as bondservants– enslaved to righteousness by choice because we know that the reward and benefits of serving our Master far exceeds any life we could create for ourselves outside of Your Kingdom. I’d rather be a doorkeeper for You, than live according to my own desires. Nothing is too hard for You. According to our faith, let it be.

In Jesus’ Mighty Name,

Amen... (So be it.)

Love is Reasonable.

11th Official Blog Post in AU. 1 December 2011

I read this blog post of my dear friend Mckenzie just after writing Isolation. and it really confirmed some thoughts from earlier that day. I just love witnessing the marriage she and David have. What seems to set them apart, aside from their obvious love for the Lord Jesus, is their attitude.

Any girl can write a blog about her life.

Any girl can talk about marriage.

But Mckenzie’s outlook on her life and marriage is what makes all the difference!

So many people in my general age group seem to get choked up with fear at the thought of marriage, loving someone fully, and allowing someone else to love them without feeling indebted or under conditions. Understandably so considering the divorce rate and dysfunctions of today’s modern family. At the same time, I think our relationships would be much healthier if we would stop allowing fear to rule over us and the decisions we make within our relationships!

We either:

1. Run away from relationships because they include challenges. Nobody wants struggles when we constantly hear Hollywood preach that everything should happen easily and flawlessly; life is lived happily ever after... Roll credits. That’s a wrap.
2. Run away because we are too comfortable with ourselves and fear the unpredictability of a relationship. Can you trust this person with your heart? How can you be sure? Do you really want to invest the time and energy this relationship would require? Especially when you have had your heart broken before. It is so easy to revert back to what experience has led us to believe. It can seem even easier to live for ourselves only.

As my last post encouraged: we need each other!

Also, life is done better together. Why? Partnership and community were God’s ideas!

Be reasonable about picking your partner. 

S/he may not be a super model or celebrity, s/he may not have perfectly airbrushed features, but can s/he do life with you on days you feel like less than a champion? Is s/he the kind of person who will love you when you are not squeaky clean? Will this person empower you to walk victoriously into all the the desires you know God has purposed for your life and see you through to its entirety? Do they carry the same conviction of commitment that you hold? Most divorces are a result of poor communication– how do you two communicate?

I know that last paragraph sounds so noble, structured and optimistic, but you come to know those things about people in the seemingly mundane details of every day life. While marriage will be an adventure, it may not be the kind of epic you envision it to be.

In the midst of what seems like a situation that counters the American Dream, Mckenzie says, 

“I love loving David. It blesses my heart, it gives me so much joy. It makes life so beautiful in the midst of the trials and tribulations that come our way... They have given us new eyes for one another, and I couldn’t be more thankful. I know this is going to be a time we’re going to look back on and remember as such a blessing. Though my heart definitely aches for the time we’re out of this valley!”

Through and through, her post gives me so much joy. Though they could easily turn on each other out of fear and stress, they cling to God’s promises and, as a result, are tightly bound to one another and filled with the joy of the Lord for strength.

Wow! Finishing up the passage in Ecclesiastes fits like a puzzle piece– how appropriate (and entirely unplanned):

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

(Ecc. 4:11-12)

Make God that center strand and He will give you the strength to maintain a simply joyful attitude in the midst of struggles. In His love, you are able to love another with more depth and longevity than you think you are capable of.

Here’s to a reasonable kind of love. In a world of hype, instant gratification, an “all about me” attitude and short attention spans– may we love unconditionally and faithfully to no end like He first loved us.

NOTE: For the record to any speculation out there (aka my friends or family), NO I am not ready to get married; this attitude is based on season not on emotions or fear. I am a content single–thankyouverymuch– who would be equally content with a “one-step-at-a-time” level of progress. This is NOT an advertisement! Only a clarification. :)

Isolation.

10th official blogpost in AU. 30 November 2011

How do you make the word, ‘isolation’ sound less... cold? The first alternative word I can think of is ‘alone.’ Do you like to be alone? How do you respond to being isolated from others or things?

I should be an expert on this subject by now– the last eighteen months of my life have consisted of the most alone time I think I have ever had. At first I nearly lost my mind. Now, I find I can appreciate solitude a bit more since this city is full of at least a couple million people hustling and bustling through every single second. I am easily content to do things or simply be by myself for probably much too long compared to the average person.

But is it good to be isolated?

The fastest yet insufficient answer would be no, it is not good. However, I think being alone can be good and is necessary at times.

Jesus would go away from his disciples to be alone with God. The Bible speaks of seeking God and practicing certain things like fasting without publicizing it to your community. What God sees is what matters and God sees every action, motive and thought. It is good to find contentment in being alone when you know you need it to fellowship with God. To give all you extroverts some assurance, being “alone” with God is not actually being alone anyway! He is with you!

On the other hand, there is the part where God says, “it is not good for man to be alone.” In this context, scripture is pointing to relationship.

So what are the things you do by yourself? Why do you do them alone?

If you are choosing not to spend time with and invest in people out of fear, insecurity, or past pain incurred through other relationships, it is time to take that before the Lord and also find someone like a pastor or a godly mentor type of leader who you can talk with. There is something in your heart that has distanced you from letting someone or many others into your life.

It is not good for man to be alone.

Why?

The place most impenetrable to people is where the constant battle for your life is waged– your mind. It is imperative that, as Christ followers, we are constantly releasing thoughts into prayers and discussions to ensure that no temptation floats around inside our minds long enough to grow into sin. Have you ever noticed those times you can be upset about something and then once you say it out loud you realize how small and insignificant it is? All that time it was rolling around in your mind made the issue seemed massive! Surrounding yourself with people you can trust and who maintain a godly perspective can make all the difference. You can help them, they can help you and everyone has a lower risk of falling into sin.

I find the Body of Christ is often plagued with fear of sharing with each other. It is scary, I know! You have to be vulnerable! You have to lay out your innermost being and hope that human beings around you will give back God’s love and grace in return. Though that does not always happen between people (unfortunately), do not give up. Ask God for the people you need to be surrounded by and determine for yourself to rise above the behavior of those who have hurt you. Forgive them. Keeping our mouths shut and cutting off fellowship with others would only satisfy the enemy’s desire to cut off circulation in the Body.

Last, but never least, God said, “it is not good for man to be alone,” just before he took a rib from Adam and created Eve, his helper. 

A partnership... why is it better to have a partner? Having to work so closely in relationship with someone else can seem like an addition to your life that would complicate matters further. I cannot think of a better way of describing it outside of Ecclesiastes:

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their 

work:

if one falls down,

his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

(Ecc. 4:9-10)

God has given each of us unique strengths and talents. We also each have weaknesses. Once we recognize that we can contribute and share strengths and gifts to each others’ callings and purposes, the workload eases up. It is no longer your burden to bear. The load is lighter because others are running with you and sharing your load. 

Let them share it.

Abstemious Perspective.

9th Official Blog Post in AU. 2 November 2011

We are so good at singing and praying such extreme prayers– I am desperate for you, God. I give you everything– my whole life. I need you more than the AIR I BREATHE!

I do realize how significant these prayers are; my intent is not to mock them. But if you are anything like me, it is easy to sing these songs and overlook the average, yet specific prayers that address our everyday lives. Try it with me:

Jesus,

I need You more than chocolate,

more than caffeine,

more than comfort food.

Father, I need You more than the stuff in my closet.

I need You more than my iPhone.

I need You more than internet.

Lord...

I need You more than my friends. You are Lord.

I need You more than my brother and sister.

God, I need You more than my parents.

You are LORD.

I need You more than coffee dates and nights out on the town.

I need You more than the comfort of my warm, cozy bed.

Father, I need You more than Facebook.

I need to speak to You more than Twitter.

I need You more than Skype.

Holy Spirit, I need your voice more than YouTube, podcasts, movies, and great musicians.

Sovereign King...

I need You more than a boyfriend.

I need You more than a fiancé and a diamond ring.

I need You, God, more than I need a husband– even if he will be the most incredible partner I can have on earth.

You are LORD.

I need You more than this degree.

I need You more than a career.

I need You more than money, God.

I need you more than I want a family.

Dearest Jesus, I want to be moved by You more than I am persuaded to make my life unfold according to social norms. My schedule should be shaped around spending time with You and going where You lead instead of letting everything else define the meaning of productivity and accomplishment.

Whom do I worship, oh Lord? Who defines my life?

How dare I call you Lord– Master– if my life does not reflect such submission before You.

“Do not be quick with your mouth, 

do not be hasty in your heart 

to utter anything before God.

God is in heaven

and you are on earth,

so let your words be few.”

-Ecclesiastes 5:2

Mistaking Seasons.

8th Official Blog Post in AU. 17 October 2011.

Moments ago, I was sitting outside. It is a slightly cloudy, spring day here in the southern hemisphere and I had planted myself on a low brick wall near a small fountain. Moments of warm sun came through as the clouds passed by overhead. Brief gusts of wind combed its cold fingers through my hair.

At one moment, I looked down to kick something away from my feet. There at my heels were a small bunch of dried up leaves.

Fall! I moaned in my thoughts, It is supposed to be fall right now, not spring time... look, there are even dried leaves on the ground. Where are the pumpkin spice lattes? What about all the leaves changing color and dying...?

Sarah, I felt the Holy Spirit say, you have repositioned your life before Me. Why are you expecting old patterns to remain the same? You have misunderstood: I have not called you to come and die or be be buried away. Indeed, your season is spring! Flourish, my dear. I have called you here to expand and bloom.

In the confusion of a new season, sometimes it would be nice to burrow deep into soft, warm, darkness underground. However, it is not fall, but spring. The rain keeps falling, sun is shining, and the wind is blowing. The surrounding elements are coaxing me to strengthen my roots, push out from the dirt, expand these leaves and finally bloom.

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven...He has made everything appropriate in its time... I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.”

–Ecclesiastes 3:1,11,14 (NASB)

Confessions of an International Student.

7th Official Blog Post in AU. 6 October 2011

At the start of the semester I recall hearing someone talk about how international students tend to have a lot of emotional ups and downs during their time at university. Honestly, I did not really believe them. Call me naïve, proud, stubborn, or all of the above, but I have been determined to be as strong and steady as possible... or, at the very least, maintain the appearance of it.

It is amazing how many challenges arise once a person has determined to be strong.

Blogosphere, it is about time I come clean and confess that I am not as strong as I try to be. Truth be told, I am that student who goes through the ups and downs when (hopefully) nobody is looking. My loved ones have never felt so far away as they have in the last few days; especially now that I am face-to-face with the final stretch of the semester. The few friends here that I have felt some sense of camaraderie with will be going back to the familiarity of their homelands while I remain here, try to stay focused, and figure out what in the world God wants me to do with this life I have been given- at least in regard to my near future.

“What do I do here in the waiting?

What do I do with my unsatisfied heart?”

(Laura Hackett)

I feel really vulnerable to be posting on this subject, but if you have kept up with my blogs at all, you know my aim is not to be popular, but quite transparent. I just need a space to write with the hope that you can relate and/or be inspired by these posts.

Sigh... loneliness.

What do you do with loneliness? How do you cope?

I feel caught in this corner because, even though I long for my community at home or for a more established one here, I have this deep conviction that I cannot go back to where I came from and I cannot stay here. My only good option is to keep moving forward and press on to the end of this degree so I can experience whatever this mysterious future is that I will be living in this time next year. That does not mean I have no interest in the people here, I definitely want and need to grow deeper with some people around me at present. It is simply getting past the subconscious understanding that your presence amongst each other is temporary.

“The past is so tangible, I know it by heart.

Familiar things are never easy to discard.

I was dying for some freedom but now I hesitate to go.

I am caught between the promise and the things I know... 

the future feels so hard and I want to go back,

but the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I’ve learned...”

(Sara Groves)

Through it all, there is only one presence that remains constant from before I was born to the end of my life and onward. All I know to do in my loneliness is cry out to God because He has always been my Constant Sustainer and the One to satisfy every area of lack in each season. In the end, I come out of these struggles with thanksgiving because nothing else creates opportunity to exercise living by faith quite like painful circumstances.

I have never felt so clueless and disconnected before. So many days pass by where I feel like I am in over my head; like I am inadequate and have no sense of belonging in this place. Sometimes it feels like I have only brought a part of myself to this city while the rest of my spirit and personality remains at home with my friends and family.

Yet God is with me and He has gone ahead of me so there is no reason to fear or worry as I set my gaze on Him. He is the Author and Perfecter of my faith- He knows exactly how to write my days for the sake of deepening my trust in His great character. If this is how I have to learn to trust Him more, then let it be. I am determined to see crisis as opportunity leading to the best things. My life is in the hands of the God who loves me even more than I could ever even love myself, so I will let Him have His way in me. Trying to control it all is too exhausting anyway! Let it be, dear Lord, let it be... Your plan is not to harm me, but to give me a hope and a future. You make all things work out for the good of those who love you and are called according to Your purpose. I am more than a conqueror through You, the One who loves me; this I know full well. You did not even spare Your own Son, but instead gave Him up for my sake and the sake of all people so how will you not also, along with Christ, graciously give us all things? Nothing can separate us from Your deep, abundant, everlasting love. I am in the most capable hands.

I started writing this post feeling empty; now I am filled again. Thank You, Lord...