Here is what is really going to happen. I am going to tell you how I am NOT "all talk and no action." The Lord really impressed a handful of important things upon me through two sermons today.
The first covered 1 Timothy 1. It brought me such peace about a lot of things God has spoken to me this past year:
-Look at your circumstances as a place that God has allowed you to be for the time being.
-Look at your circumstances as an opportunity to glorify God.
-Stop looking at what you don't have and start looking at Who you do have.
-Most of us don't get past ourselves to see what God's doing. What a pathetic way to live our lives!
-Which are you more aware of, your problems or the fact that God's Spirit is within us?
-Is there any room in your house/your life that Jesus is not allowed into? Like guests, we tell Christ to make Himself at home in our lives, but don't actually mean it.
-God says,"There is one thing I want to strengthen in you; that is your innermost being."
This has been a year- the only year in my life- that I cannot explain myself to people. When people have inquired into what I am doing now there is nothing visible- no job, no internship, no big 10-year plan, no new mission trip or leadership opportunity. All they see is a confused young adult with a shrug on her shoulders and a lot of time on her hands to spend with family and travel.
But let me tell you loud and clear: being obedient is never a waste of time; even of an entire year.
Now I can't give myself a whole lot of credit on the obedience factor. For the first several months, I had no sense of understanding that God was calling me to a year of stillness. I fought it like crazy! At the same time, I just knew along the way that every pursuit I went after was not where I was supposed to be. By saying no to everything, I landed where I was supposed to be. Insecure, unbelieving, out of control, and extremely anxious... perfectly raw, humiliated, dependent, and moldable.
In hindsight I can tell you that none of this was a mistake, not for a second. As my pastor preached this morning: you may look at the outer shell of my life and see nothing. But the Lord? He see everything, inside and out. Such a seemingly anti-climactic way of being transformed, but He knew what I needed. He hit every bullet point of what I needed. If I were to list how many things have been fulfilled and strengthened in my life from one year of stillness, I would be writing for days.
So what am I doing now? I'm being prepared.
The other sermon I watched today was from my former and favorite church, Bethel World Outreach Center. Lynette Lewis is a woman who does not know I exist but I hold her in high regard. The way she leads, speaks, and what her heart breaks for is so in line with my personality and interests. Haha, the first time I heard her speak at a conference, I pointed at her and said to a friend, "HER. I want to be like her."
Everyone, guy or girl, should listen to her sermon. It is all about raising your standards and expectations for life and what the Lord has in store for us if we would just take the next step forward. Hearing her stories of keeping faith while feeling inadequate was extremely encouraging. To admit that is extremely vulnerable for a leader, but that is why she is so effective.
Ahh, I am so pumped up! So thankful for the Lord that I am being made ready for more.
God knows, and reminds us in His Word, that if we want to be in possession of more we must first be wise with little.
One last thing, a tweet from @BrianCHouston:
So keep moving forward! My God is a Rewarder of those who seek Him.
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