Aspiration.

"Consider what happens when all of us begin to look at our professions and areas of expertise not merely as means to an income or to career paths in our own context but as platforms for proclaiming the gospel in contexts around the world. Consider what happens when the church is not only sending traditional missionaries around the world but also businessmen and businesswomen, teachers and students, doctors and politicians, engineers and technicians who are living out the gospel in contexts where a traditional missionary could never go."
-David Platt

I FINALLY finished reading Radical... and the above paragraph was my favorite part from the last chapter of the book. This year has really helped me solidify more than ever that I am called to be a missionary, but in an unconventional way. I tried to go into ministry by way of attempting to train at a variety of ministry schools. I found the results to be much like what happens when you put positive sides of two magnets together.

A while back I once mentioned to a friend that whatever I end up doing I would want to be able to speak the name of Jesus Christ within that context. His first response was, "Why?"

To be honest, this question somewhat jarred me. In my harmonious ways, I tend to not speak my mind about something without the initial assumption that the person I am talking with will agree with me (I am trying to grow out of this). Obviously, that wasn't the case and I was much less prepared to give him a quality response.

At least a year and a half later that question has still been tumbling around in my head. Now, more than ever, that question has become deeply relevant. I have yet to reach a solid conclusion.

On one hand, my auto-response is: well, He is LORD! I cannot be restrained from proclaiming the reality of Sovereign God. I will not be censored from speaking the Truth!

Or is it just because it is easier and more comforting to have that direct acceptance of my faith?

Recently, I found myself seeing another perspective. I had previously posted a blog about a message by Lynette Lewis. This woman is a role model I feel so connected to because her calling is this weird hybrid of reaching the secular corporate world and the Christian world simultaneously. She brought up a prayer she once prayed before holding a workshop for Tyco Industries. In it, she reminded the Lord that He has called her to a secular workplace and she was not allowed to speak the name of God or quote scriptures in her workshop the way she freely could at church engagements. So instead she prayed that the Holy Spirit would speak beyond her limitation; move and breathe new life into the people she was training that day.

Whatever conclusion I end up with, I should never put God in a box. Even with music I struggle. As I have seen numerous Christian colleagues from undergrad go into the music industry and write songs that are not aimed to the Christian industry, it causes me to rock back and forth like a ship on deep waters. What is the overflow of my heart? Shouldn't that be what pours into my songs? Is it wrong to write songs only about human love? Is it ridiculous to always only sing about God's Love? Do these questions even matter to God? How does He want us to use our gifts?

I hope this has spurred on a lot of thoughts in your mind. Please share them with me. I welcome some help in resolving this!